Welcome to Lantischka!

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Welcome to Lantischka!

Post  Al Kafire Aschad on Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:10 pm

"The worst place since ever."

Lantischka is your typical broken down post-communist state with a few added twists here and there.

The people
The people are either cranky or drunk, but they're all assholes, all the time.
They tend to be rather short, and somewhat hairy, but very much ugly.

Weather
The only time it isn't raining is when it's snowing. Southern Lantischka floods so often, people keep life jackets in their cars. If they happen to own a car.
In the North, people just wait to die from hypothermia.

History
In the 1430's, Kyïpyöncg took over Ninbou after some wars and they formed Lantischka. Later, in 1560's they expanded North into Antelvïtsch. A civil war from 1577 to 1581 almost saw independence for Ninbou, but they lost. This was the First Lantischka Civil War. The second one was from 1698 to 1703 between to leaders fighting for the thrown. #3 was from 1798 to 1801 between crown loyalists and Republicans. This saw the birth of the Lantischka Republic, which went through a régime change in the 4th civil war from 1930 to 1933. The old government fled West and set up the "West Lantischka Republic". Meanwhile, Lantischka was (sort of) on it's way to communism. But they took a wrong turn off of socialism and ran straight in to "Post-communism", a discontent with something they never even had (and sure as hell didn't want).

Culture
It has it's own Department, the ever-conservative Ministry of Culture.
In general, most Lantischkawoffen do not care about it, unless it comes under criticism from foreigners. Lantischkawoffen do not like foreigners.

Economy
The base unit of currency is the Kapi, but US dollars and Russian roubles are somewhat common.
In general it's down the toilet, but sometimes it comes out of the toilet, and as you would imagine, something that comes out of the toilet can't be a pretty sight to see.
The underground is mostly run by Russian and to a lesser extent Chinese gangsters, but Yakuza and even the Italian Mafia operate around North Söncgtschöncg.

Politics
The régime itself is set up as a one-party government led by a socialist party, the Socialist Party of Lantischka. As you may expect, there is little freedom of speech and politics are one-sided.

Government
Corrupt politicians and other criminals try to hold it to gather in the parliamentary building in Kyïpyöncg. It suffers from a bad case of inter service rivalry.
The Ministry of National Security is blatantly spying on the military, which had to set up their own intelligence service due to the lack of trust. Workers unions also get mixed up in it, and it's gotten to the point that buying a toaster is more about politics than something that burns bread.
Despite their supposed hatred of communism, the symbolism is very common in Lantischka, with huge murals of Lenin and/or Marx on several buildings, and the hammer and sickle in pretty much every underground train station. This does not really mean anything though.

The "Big Five", in order from most to least powerful, and their departments:

Socialist Party of Lantischka

Ministry of National Security
-State Security
-National Police Service
-Boarder Patrol & Immigration Agency

Ministry of National Defence
-Army
-Navy
-Air Force
-Military Intelligence

Ministry of Foreign Affairs
-Australia
-Canada
-China
-Germany
-India
-Iraq (defunct)
-Israel
-Japan
-Russia
-United Kingdom
-United States (defunct)

Ministry of Culture
-Film
-Literature
-Propaganda

Important People:
Al Kafire Aschad - Prime Minister, leader of the Socialist Party
Thomas K. Benson - President
Tscherezaszkov - Minister of National Security
Yuri Petrovaski - Minister of National Defence
Brasov Imyenchyero- Minister of Foreign Affairs

Military
They're secretly trying to take over, but they can't do anything until the navy, air force and army will work together, or at the very least trust each other.

Gallery


Current flag of Lantischka


Current civil flag of Lantischka


Two Lantischkawoffen mating


Last edited by Al Kafire Aschad on Tue Jun 04, 2013 5:41 am; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : Updated flag.)
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Al Kafire Aschad
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Re: Welcome to Lantischka!

Post  Zacharias on Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:47 pm

Damn. They are ugly
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Re: Welcome to Lantischka!

Post  emperor666 on Tue Dec 25, 2012 1:11 am

Fap fap fap...
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nice

Post  LordOfDeath96 on Sat Dec 29, 2012 10:36 am

lol thats hot affraid
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Re: Welcome to Lantischka!

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